Activities For Anger Management For Children - We can’t expect our children never to be angry, any more than we can ask that of ourselves, but we can help them find healthy outlets for the mad that they feel – and help them know the good feeling that comes with self-control. Children lack strategies for thinking through the situations that are troubling them.
They may find it difficult to know what is making them angry or to talk about their feelings. Talking with children in supportive ways about angry feelings helps to teach them effective ways of managing anger and builds positive relationships.
It is best to wait until the child is calm and relaxed to talk about angry feelings. When angry feelings are running high it is very hard for children to listen and think coolly. Parents, carers and school staff can help by encouraging children to explain their points of view and listening sympathetically.
Being able to talk about angry feelings allows children to feel understood and supported. It helps them to think more calmly and find better solutions.
When children get caught up with angry feelings it can be quite difficult for them to calm down. This is because the body gets ready to fight when we are angry and can take some time to return to normal. Teaching children steps to cool down their anger can help.
1. Rate Your Anger
Using a rating scale to notice how angry they are helps children become more aware of their angry feelings so that they know when to use calming strategies. Draw a thermometer to show the scale points of between zero and 10. Add some words that describe low levels (eg 0 = calm; 2 = a bit irritated), medium levels (eg 5 = quite cross), and high levels (eg 9 = extremely angry, ‘losing it’). Talk about the body signals that accompany each level. Ask children to rate their anger and watch it to see if it changes. This encourages them to look for the signs of angry feelings and to see if they can lower their anger levels. It is much harder to change anger when it is high, so when the rating goes above 6 it is usually best to teach children to move away from the situation. They can move to a special quiet space or ask an adult for help.
2. Relax
There are lots of ways to relax. Some useful ways to teach children to use relaxation strategies to calm their angry feelings are:
Deep Breathing
Slow deep breathing has a very helpful calming effect. Getting children to practise breathing in deeply and breathing out very slowly, can help to calm down angry feelings.
Visualisation
Have children visualise a very relaxing scene in their minds. For example, they might imagine themselves floating on an air bed in a swimming pool. You can combine deep breathing with visualisation. For example, ask children to imagine a candle in front of them. As they exhale, ask them to imagine making the candle flicker but not go out.
Robot/Rag Doll Technique
The robot/rag doll technique is useful for helping young children release muscle tension. Ask children to tense up all muscles in the body and visualise themselves as robots. Have them hold this tense state for approximately 15 seconds. Then ask them to release all the tension and visualise themselves as rag dolls, with all muscles very loose, and stay relaxed like this for 15 seconds.
3. Use Coping Self-Talk
Using coping self-talk involves saying things to yourself to calm down. Children can be encouraged to say things to themselves like:
To teach children to use coping self-talk, it is helpful to model it yourself. For example, you could make a point of saying out loud, “I need to relax”, “I’m going to cool down” or “I won’t let this get to me”. You can also use coping statements to coach children through stressful moments. Asking older children what they could say to themselves when they need to cool down their anger helps them learn to use coping self-talk for themselves.
The point is When children are angry, they need understanding from their caregivers, and at the same time, it’s essential to give them clear and firm limits. They need adults to stop them when they’re about to hurt to help them find constructive, rather than destructive, outlets to help them “use their words” instead of acting on their feelings and to help them develop self-control so they can stop from hurting by using their own internal controls.
They may find it difficult to know what is making them angry or to talk about their feelings. Talking with children in supportive ways about angry feelings helps to teach them effective ways of managing anger and builds positive relationships.
It is best to wait until the child is calm and relaxed to talk about angry feelings. When angry feelings are running high it is very hard for children to listen and think coolly. Parents, carers and school staff can help by encouraging children to explain their points of view and listening sympathetically.
Being able to talk about angry feelings allows children to feel understood and supported. It helps them to think more calmly and find better solutions.
1. Rate Your Anger
Using a rating scale to notice how angry they are helps children become more aware of their angry feelings so that they know when to use calming strategies. Draw a thermometer to show the scale points of between zero and 10. Add some words that describe low levels (eg 0 = calm; 2 = a bit irritated), medium levels (eg 5 = quite cross), and high levels (eg 9 = extremely angry, ‘losing it’). Talk about the body signals that accompany each level. Ask children to rate their anger and watch it to see if it changes. This encourages them to look for the signs of angry feelings and to see if they can lower their anger levels. It is much harder to change anger when it is high, so when the rating goes above 6 it is usually best to teach children to move away from the situation. They can move to a special quiet space or ask an adult for help.
2. Relax
There are lots of ways to relax. Some useful ways to teach children to use relaxation strategies to calm their angry feelings are:
Deep Breathing
Slow deep breathing has a very helpful calming effect. Getting children to practise breathing in deeply and breathing out very slowly, can help to calm down angry feelings.
Visualisation
Have children visualise a very relaxing scene in their minds. For example, they might imagine themselves floating on an air bed in a swimming pool. You can combine deep breathing with visualisation. For example, ask children to imagine a candle in front of them. As they exhale, ask them to imagine making the candle flicker but not go out.
Robot/Rag Doll Technique
The robot/rag doll technique is useful for helping young children release muscle tension. Ask children to tense up all muscles in the body and visualise themselves as robots. Have them hold this tense state for approximately 15 seconds. Then ask them to release all the tension and visualise themselves as rag dolls, with all muscles very loose, and stay relaxed like this for 15 seconds.
3. Use Coping Self-Talk
Using coping self-talk involves saying things to yourself to calm down. Children can be encouraged to say things to themselves like:
- Take it easy
- Take some deep breaths
- Stay cool
- It’s okay if I’m not good at this
- Chill out
- Don’t let him bug me
- Time to relax!
- Try not to give up
To teach children to use coping self-talk, it is helpful to model it yourself. For example, you could make a point of saying out loud, “I need to relax”, “I’m going to cool down” or “I won’t let this get to me”. You can also use coping statements to coach children through stressful moments. Asking older children what they could say to themselves when they need to cool down their anger helps them learn to use coping self-talk for themselves.
The point is When children are angry, they need understanding from their caregivers, and at the same time, it’s essential to give them clear and firm limits. They need adults to stop them when they’re about to hurt to help them find constructive, rather than destructive, outlets to help them “use their words” instead of acting on their feelings and to help them develop self-control so they can stop from hurting by using their own internal controls.